Politely Hilarious
by oOoMilkTeaoOo
Summary: Aria is a polite-not-so-polite girl born of noble wealth. With her heart cold as a blizzard and her retorts as sassy as they come, she's not going to be bothered with people running around in unflattering black suits with a huge red R. Nor will she hesitate to punch a pretty-boy as necessary. (OCXOC) (Possible side Soulsilver shipping).


"Aria. What are your thoughts about," he narrowed his eyes, "Marriage?"

A sly smirk creeped upon her lips, raven eyes twinkling in amusement, "That sounds," she rest her chin on the palm of her hand, "Absolutely horrendous." she laughed merrily.

The older man resisted the urge to bark in rage at his youngest and only daughter, as such sounds were not suited to one as dignified as himself. With a proud sneer, he added, "We have been invited to a ball by Monsieur Lucas himself. His son is looking for a bride and-"

"-Father, I can assure you, if that old man has a kid, he's bound to ages above me. Frankly, I'm not fond of pedophilia." she interrupted, her sly smirk never once leaving her lips.

Aria watched in amusement as the fine lines on her father's face intensified, along with a reddish hue, "You little _brat_." he seethed.

The younger girl held her hands up in surrender, "Won't deny that, Father. However, I can only say genetics played a part in it." she sassed, battling her eyelashes.

Another chuckle tumbled out of her lips as the man's eyes snapped open, rage and fury swirling in those menacing gray eyes. "I will not stand for this mockery!" he scowled, raising his hand.

From the corner of her eye, Aria watched the hand draw closer and closer to her face. "There's a saying; slap a whore and she'll slap off your testicles." she mused with an innocent smile. With great reluctance, the hand stopped centimeters from her pinkish cheek. Aria grinned cheekily, "Not that I am a whore, but you get it, don't you Father?"

At this point, Aria could have sworn she saw little storm clouds crackle above his head, "No daughter of mine will disobey me." he hissed, fists clenched tightly at his sides.

"Good. You were never a Father of mine." she retorted, reaching under the table and tossing her designer duffel bag over her right shoulder. She elegantly rose, slender legs swung from the side of her seat, "We both knew it was only a matter of time."

With her last words, she didn't look back as she pushed open those twin marble doors for the last time. The sunlight was gentle, the sun seemed still half-awake. It was barely sunrise and she had gotten herself disowned.

Aria laughed, a cryptic laugh, "I wonder how long it will take for him to find me and drag me back by the ear?" she asked herself. After all, this wasn't the first time she had gotten 'disowned'. That man wouldn't dare let her escape.

She was familiar with the region, having traveled often for parties and meetings. She shot a quick glance behind her, relishing the feeling of the fresh breeze brushing her face. "How odd. It's been about one hour and he hasn't sent anyone to find me."

She giggled, "Maybe he finally hates me enough." she cheered to herself, raising her fist to the sky, "Operation: Be the Baddest Bitch complete!"

She instantly realized she had drawn all the attention in the nearby area to herself. Inwardly thanking the etiquette that was pounded into her at a young age, she giggled cutely, "What are you looking at, filth? Mind your own business." she smiled, complete with radiant sparkles.

The others felt a shiver roll down their backs and hastily resumed their past activities. "That's what I thought." she scoffed under her breath. Little known to our cute Aria, a pair of sinister dark blue eyes were watching her.

Quickly running off, the others could only sigh in relief. She winced, "Why do I feel a supernatural presence stalking me. Stalkers aren't pleasant." she muttered under her breath.

Further running off, she noticed the air becoming bitterly cold. She shivered slightly as she hugged herself, trying to retain the last of her warmth. "Curses, I should have brought a warmer jacket." she muttered, eyes narrowing as sharp wind slapped her repeatedly in the face.

She breathed out a poof of chilled air, eyes squinted and teeth clattering. "I-I just came from Mahogany Town. I-Ice Pa-ath shouldn't be too far..." she forced out, shivering so bad she was certain that if someone were to see her in such a state, she would be mistaken for a druggie. A bat-shit druggie wearing nothing more than a sheer, lacey black kimono jacket as cover for the harsh cold.

Her vision was blurring, a headache starting to come in, "Blasphemy. I prefer Mother Nature when she rakes wars in my uterus instead of this damned blizzard." she shivered, resisting the urge to just lie in the snow for a few minutes.

She knew. If she did, she would freeze to eternal sleep.

Ice Path eventually came into her line of vision, "Thank Hell. Hell because Heaven in so mainstream." she muttered to herself, slipping into the cold, but not crazy tundra style blizzard served outside, damp and dark cave.

She hugged herself tightly, "The cold bothers me more than dancing octopuses. Why do they dance?" she asked herself, thoughts wandering off into the midst of the weirdness she had encountered in her life.

Her eyes widened slightly upon hearing a high-pitched shrill scream. She covered her ears as the screaming continued, "I was told banshees foretold death." she mumbled to herself, a sadistic smile creeping onto her lips, "It would be lovely if that old man were to die." she laughed, her laughter echoing throughout the cave.

"S-Someone, please! I-If you-you're there-!" the girlish voice was coming closer, and Aria noticed that whoever it was, it couldn't be a banshee. Banshees were ugly, but the girl that came into the clearing was fairly cute. Brown, short hair clipped to the side with a hair clip, and soaked clothes.

If Aria looked closely, she could see something, small and squirming in her shivering arms. "P-please help me! D-Do you have a potion, repel, anything?" she forced out, sneezing loudly thereafter.

Aria _did_ have potions and repels, but she wasn't running a charity here. Yet, her heart wasn't as freezing as the harsh cold just yet. "I might. Why?" she asked cautiously, far too used to beggars and the like.

Her misty blue eyes were losing their shine, desperation rising in them, "T-This D-Dratini... This Dratini is very weak..." she explained. Aria watched monotonously as a shocked gasp passed through her lips, her legs finally giving out on her.

She fell to her knees, breaths turning raspy and short, "I beg you. Please help it. It was attacked by a stronger Pokemon and it will die at this rate. It's a wild Pokemon, so please take care of it." she collapsed onto her back.

Aria watched unamused, "So dramatic. You're not dead." she stalked closer, hands reaching for her heart. The sensation was so bitterly cold. There was no heart beat. Aria felt her own heartbeat quicken, eyes shuddering as she slowly scooted away.

With a forced smile, a cold laugh passed her lips, "Foolish. How foolish. Giving up her life to protect a Pokemon she didn't even know." she quietly muttered to herself, her hand reaching to feel her own heartbeat. "Yet... Even now, hers beats more kindly than mine."

"Dra...Dratini..." came the weak reply. Aria stared into those lifeless purple orbs, as they stared back at her. Hesitatingly, Aria reached into her duffel bag and pulled out a Super Potion. She never planned on becoming a trainer, but her mother once told her that feelings change. Even when it's against the bitterly cold-hearted.

Crawling closer, Aria sprayed the Super Potion onto the small, long squirmy Pokemon. Her eyes never left the huge gash on it's belly side, and carefully sprayed into the wound. Dratini flinched, but didn't move. Aria absentmindedly wondered if it felt like rubbing alcohol to a wound.

Once the Super Potion was empty, and the wound closed up, the Dratini stood on it's slithering body with ease. Aria couldn't help but smile, "Huh. That was easy." she mused, remembering a commercial she had seen on television once.

"Dratini!" it cheered, slithering closer to Aria. It cuddled up to her, and Aria stared at it unimpressed.

"Oi, your 'mother' over there is dead and you dare be so happy." she sighed, allowing the dragon-type to curl up her arm. Aria wandered over to the dead girl, and with one fluid motion, slung her over her right shoulder.

"If you're going to die, don't die here alone in the bitter cold. That's how I'm going to die. So don't go stealing it." Aria laughed. It was ironic, but that felt like the most genuine laugh Aria had in a while.

Aria exited the cave, with a dead girl slung over her shoulder and a squirmy little Pokemon coiled around her left arm. She looked like a psychopath. Taking a short de-tour, Aria looked into the sky, seeing small puffs of smoke invading the now-clear sky.

"Dear smoke, don't come uninvited." she sighed as she shook her head, "That's just rude. I was enjoying the view." she added, but followed the smoke nonetheless. Perhaps she could toss the girl into the house and let whoever was in there deal with the corpse.

Pushing open the door, an elderly man and woman instantly turned their heads with a shocked expression. "My, my, a visitor!" she chirped, running over until she noticed the body on Aria's shoulder.

Aria stiffened under the curious gazes, "I didn't kill her. I found her." she quickly excused, eyes shifting away from those prying, wise eyes. She couldn't lie. The elderly creeped her out.

Aria's eyes widened when she heard the loud, chortling laughter, "Dead you say?" she gauffered, and to Aria's slight shock and amusement, slapped the girl right in the face, "Not before me, she isn't."

Aria held up a hand, "Miss, sometimes you have to let go. And...other wise sounding words to comfort the distressed." she mumbled.

The grandma was still laughing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You just sound so polite and hilarious at the same time!"

Aria felt a twitch in her eye, "Polite, I was told many times before. Hilarious, however..." she muttered, dark as night eyes narrowed.

Aria's eyes widened when she felt the body slumped over her shoulder twitch, "Mm, is it breakfast already?" she asked.

Aria sweatdropped, "Do excuse me, but most normally, people who come back from the dead's first words have something to do with Heaven."

"H-Heaven?" the panic was evident in her voice, "I-I died?! N-Nooo!" she screamed into Aria's ear, which of course, was slowly driving the polite-not-really-polite girl insane. Well, more insane than she already was. "I-I can't die! Granny will _murder_ me!" she hissed, strangling Aria as she glared at her, "_Murder me_!"

Aria hissed back venomously, "Well good thing you _aren't_ dead, isn't it?" she muttered, throwing the girl off her shoulder and thus making her release the death grip on her neck. "If you're going to strangle someone, cut off their air. That's how you kill, peasant." she muttered, rubbing her tender neck.

"P-peasant?" she asked curiously, not even a hint of sounding offended. "That's an odd term to refer to someone."

"Don't question me." Aria muttered, her sour mood increasing from the sudden shock some would call a 'miracle'.

"See, girlie? My granddaughter doesn't die that easily!" she laughed. Aria involuntarily took a step back as the the granny's expression turned grim. Aria was so weirded out she didn't even protest when the girl latched onto her leg out of fear, "After all, if she were to die before me..." she added eerily.

Aria clapped her hands loudly, a stiff grin on her face, "Yes, yes, I heard! I _know_. Just please stop talking because the circulation in my leg is dying." she hastily replied, yanking her leg out of the helluva scared girl's grip, "Hey peasant, grovel somewhere else. I still _need_ this." she scowled, gesturing to her leg.

She laughed apologetically, "Sorry, sorry. I got...a little scared." she winced, turning her head away from her granny as comical tears rolled down her cheeks. "Thank you Lord for giving me another chance at life. I won't fail you again."

Her granny 'hmped' loudly, "Blasphemy-"

"-Hey, that's my saying!" Aria pouted.

"Of _course _you're going to fail again. Your heart is far too kind, you'll be saving every hurt thing you see again, at the expense of your life." she scowled, causing Aria to gasp lightly when the granny yanked her closer, "Why can't you be more like this girl? Her heart is as cold as any blizzard!" she cried out dramatically.

Aria smiled sulkily, "I know it's true, but why do I feel so offended..."

The old woman haughtily pointed a finger at the soaked girl, "Such bad manners too! This cold girl over here saves you and you don't even introduce yourself!"

The shivering girl instantly stiffened, "H-Hai!" she cried, tears brimming at the edges of her eyes, "My name's Hikari. I'm a Pokemon trainer!" she winced under the glare of the elderly woman.

"Not a real good Pokemon trainer, I have to add." the granny muttered under her breath. "She's more of a Pokemon breeder more than anything. She saves all of these cuties but could never bear to watch them get hurt."

Hikari pouted, "I saved them from getting hurt! Why do I have to get them hurt all over again?"

"Because that's how Pokemon battles work?" Aria sarcastically scowled. Her eyes widened as she gingerly touched her lips, "Is this sarcasm? Oh kami, it's sarcasm. I was never allowed to use this, but what a beauteous feeling it gives me." she awed in amazement.

The three other occupants sweatdropped, "Poor kid." they chorused.

* * *

**A/N: I know Dratini's cry isn't really like that, but I couldn't think of how to spell it out. Anyway, this is my OC Pokemon story! :) There _will_ be romance, so you've been warned. There _might_ be a Soulsilver shipping on the side, since those dorks are oh-so-cute. **


End file.
